Living with an alcoholic spouse can feel hopeless. It can take over your life. You may find yourself playing the role of \u201cfixer,\u201d constantly picking up their messes. Alcoholics often leave a trail of broken promises and relationships as well as financial issues in their wake. You may be living with physical or emotional abuse. From people looking in from the outside, the decision to leave an alcoholic husband or wife may seem easy. But if you\u2019re in the thick of it, you know it isn\u2019t. Here are a few signs it might be time to leave an alcoholic spouse. When Is it Time to Leave an Alcoholic Husband or Wife? Leaving an alcoholic is easier said than done. There are often logistical, emotional and financial barriers to just picking up and walking out the door. You also once thought you\u2019d spend the rest of your life with this person. It\u2019s natural to hold out hope that things can change. While millions of people recover from alcoholism and addiction, some don\u2019t. Here are some signs that leaving an alcoholic might be the best decision. #1 Their Drinking Habits Negatively Impact You Research shows living with an addict can affect your physical and emotional well-being. The stress of your partner\u2019s alcohol addiction can put you at risk for: \tAnxiety and depression symptoms \tYour own substance abuse issues \tNeglecting work, personal or family obligations \tDifficulty sleeping \tNeglecting self-care \tTrauma and PTSD \tFinancial problems due to their drinking habits \tMisdirecting your anger at the alcoholic toward other loved ones If you\u2019re experiencing emotional, financial or health issues because of your spouse\u2019s substance abuse, it\u2019s time to re-evaluate your situation. #2 They Show No Signs of Stopping If you\u2019re living with an addict who doesn\u2019t see their behavior as a problem despite severe consequences, it\u2019s a red light. An alcohol use disorder is a disease of the brain. Once you have an alcohol dependency, it\u2019s very hard to \u201cjust quit drinking\u201d without help. Your alcoholic husband or wife is likely experiencing this first hand. They may have tried to quit abusing alcohol without success. Maybe they\u2019ve even stopped trying to quit or cut down. Perhaps your spouse has been in and out of alcohol rehab. They may be a chronic relapser. Relapse is sometimes a reality of addiction, just like any other chronic disease. The difference is that people who are devoted to recovery take relapse as a sign they need to recommit themselves to sobriety. They learn from their mistakes and try again. If your spouse half-heartedly attends alcohol rehab, doesn\u2019t follow their continuing care plan, and isn\u2019t interested in personal growth, they may not be ready to change for a long time, or ever. #3 Their Behavior Is Unpredictable and Dangerous Addict behavior is unpredictable by nature. Alcohol and drug abuse severely clouds people\u2019s judgement. The unpredictability when your spouse starts drinking can be one of the most terrifying things about living with an alcoholic. Your partner may take dangerous risks or go from Jekyll to Hyde when they drink. When they drink, your alcoholic spouse may: \tDrive drunk \tGet into physical fights with people \tSpend large amounts of money \tGet angry and out of control \tPhysically or emotionally abuse you and\/or your family Living in an unpredictable situation can lead to hypervigilance and anxiety. These are signs of trauma. Left untreated, trauma can damage your physical and mental health. If your alcoholic spouse is acting in a way that puts you and your family\u2019s well-being in jeopardy, you need to consider if staying in the relationship is worth it. #4 They\u2019re Physically or Emotionally Abusive Alcohol abuse frequently plays a role in intimate partner violence. Intimate partner violence includes both physical and emotional abuse. Alcohol addiction doesn\u2019t cause domestic abuse relationships. People who are abusive don\u2019t become that way because of drugs and alcohol. However, the effects of alcohol can certainly make abuse worse. Alcohol abuse can escalate violent and abusive behaviors. Domestic violence is inexcusable and lots of times doesn\u2019t change despite promises and mental health help. The problem is that leaving is often the most dangerous time for people being abused. Because abuse is often about control, when the abused partner leaves, the abuser is triggered. They fear no longer being in control of the victim. Many times violence and dangerous behaviors escalate. If you\u2019re leaving an alcoholic partner who is also abusing you, you may want to speak with a professional about the safest way to do so. #5 You\u2019re Staying Out of Fear You may have many fears holding you back from leaving an alcoholic spouse. It\u2019s not an easy decision. You may have child custody concerns. Your alcoholic husband or wife could be supporting your family financially. You may worry about where you\u2019ll live. You may fear their reaction to the news that you\u2019re leaving. You may also worry that they won\u2019t be able to survive well without you. These are all legitimate concerns. Talking to a mental health professional or someone you trust can help you work through these issues. They\u2019ll help you address your fears and start figuring out what you need to move forward \u2013 whether that means leaving or staying. #6 You\u2019re Not Taking Care of Yourself or Your Family It\u2019s easy to get consumed with an addict\u2019s problems. After all, if you\u2019re living with an addict, their problems affect you as well. People with addictions often get into legal, financial and personal trouble. Loved ones of addicts may find themselves continually picking up the pieces. Living with an addict often takes a toll on your health. You\u2019re more at risk for mental health disorders, substance abuse, PTSD, anger issues and other behavioral health problems. You\u2019re at risk for neglecting yourself and other loved ones. If you and your children\u2019s quality of life is suffering due to an addicted partner, it may be time to leave. #7 Staging an Intervention and Other Efforts Haven\u2019t Helped At some point, most people who get sober realize they need help getting better. If you continue to enforce boundaries, ask your loved one to get help, and explain how their behaviors are affecting you to no avail, take a close look at your relationship. If you\u2019ve held an intervention, or several, and your partner won\u2019t enter an addiction treatment facility, it should give you pause. If they won\u2019t even humor you by attending a 12-step meeting or asking their doctor about their addiction, they could be a long way off from accepting help and getting better. These are only a handful of signs that it could be time to leave an alcoholic. No situation is identical. There are special circumstances in every relationship. However, if you find yourself relating to these warning signs, it might be time to reconsider your living situation. Will My Alcoholic Spouse Ever Get Better? Just because your alcoholic partner won\u2019t get help now, doesn\u2019t mean they won\u2019t ever enter rehab. Some people must hit bottom before they accept help. Many people don\u2019t. Alcohol addiction treatment can be effective at any stage of readiness. Many people enter addiction treatment programs because of ultimatums, legal problems or issues at work. Your loved one may find the internal motivation to get better once they\u2019re in alcohol or drug rehab. The reality is, this may not happen before you\u2019ve reached your limit. In fact, leaving them might be what sparks a change. You can\u2019t force your addicted spouse into alcohol treatment, and you can\u2019t do the work for them. All you can do is hold your boundaries and try to help guide them in the right direction. How to Hold a Family Intervention for an Alcoholic If you haven\u2019t tried an intervention before, you might consider it. Sometimes an intervention is the turning point for alcoholics. Hearing loved ones share how their drinking has impacted their lives and how concerned they are for them can move the addict to action. A professional interventionist can help make sure an alcohol intervention is effective and compassionate. They can help you communicate in a way that doesn\u2019t put your addicted spouse on the defense. An interventionist can also answer any questions your loved one has about treatment options. For instance, they can tell them what detoxing from alcohol is really like and why going through it in a medical facility is necessary. They can also refer them to addiction treatment centers and talk about what they can expect during a typical day in alcohol rehab. Only you can decide when it\u2019s time to leave an alcoholic husband or wife. You deserve a life that doesn\u2019t revolve around chaos, fear and misery. You deserve happiness. That happiness may only be possible if you leave your alcoholic spouse, even if temporarily. Sometimes alcoholics are only able to see the severity of their situation after losing what\u2019s important to them.